Enough Talk: If You're Truly Angry, Here's How You Can Go Fight for Ukraine
No more excuses, Ukraine First supporters. I am fresh out of taxable income and instead have signup links for you in this very important post that will send you to the front lines. Send us a postcard!
Author’s Note: The following is a satirical admonition to those who support Ukraine over your fellow citizens to put their money where their mouths are, and sign up to fight. No more excuses and no more demands for taxpayer dollars.
You loyal readers of Captain K’s Corner know that I have committed myself to providing a wealth of resources in the fight for freedom and liberty; although my expertise is best applied to election reform and identifying patterns of manipulation, I also dabble in foreign policy, warfare, and history as primary interests. Once upon a time, Steve Bannon even had me on to discuss the Russia-Ukraine War and got me out of election mode, which turned out to be one of my best efforts yet.
This journal is designed to dispense actionable information, meaning you can do something with it, even if that means just changing someone else’s mind with real research and knowledge. I don’t post about the weather, stock market plunges, or things that can be easily verified without a subscription to an account on here. In other words, I try to make it worth your time, energy, and, if a paying member to this journal, money to read what I write. While we are mostly like-minded in this journal, I can tell by combing through the subscriber list that I am also visited by squatters, mainstream journalists, and politicos who keep an eye on what is written here. It is also no surprise that nearly all of us have people in our lives who are still asleep and need to be fed what to believe by a man in a suit on the TV screen.
By now, you’re certainly familiar with the above photo of President Trump, Vice President Vance, and Ukrainian President Zelenskyy having a bitter squabble in the Oval Office last week. You can probably guess how I feel about that incident, but since this journal is now read worldwide, I’m not sure how you feel about it. Maybe you think American taxes should go to Zelenskyy and the prodding along of World War III by the world’s warmongers before we fix our own country, or maybe you believe the people who brought you the Russiagate conspiracy that Putin and the Russians are the world’s boogeymen, and Ukraine is the light of the world. This is the beauty of individual liberty and freedom – I just expect you to be able to defend your positions and formulate them on your own.
So, if you or someone you know or love is radically pissed off about how President Zelenskyy was treated in the White House by the duly elected Trump-Vance administration, and you or your loved one really want to magnify that frustration, then there is only one thing left to do:
You know this, joining the International Legionnaires, is the only way to properly pledge your support for Ukraine. Why demand American taxpayers send money overseas, where it can no longer be properly accounted for, when you yourself can escort it there and make the ultimate investment in worldwide freedom and push back on the big bad bear, Russia? The requirements are simple and straightforward:
· 18-60 years old
· No criminal convictions
· No chronic diseases
· Fit enough to perform basic infantry tasks***
· Able to legally enter Ukraine (you need to get your own documents straight)
· Military experience preferred
· Combat experience preferred
***This is an ambiguous item. Fitness standards vary depending on the nation, but back in my day in the U.S. Army, though not an infantryman, I needed to be able to run two miles under 16 minutes and execute roughly 50 pushups and 50 sit-ups in under two minutes each just to pass the physical fitness test. Functional fitness is a bit different and requires more durability, such as the ability to haul a heavy ass pack around for hours or days on end and cover 20 or more miles per day with it. You also need to get comfortable sleeping and relieving yourself outside and in the worst of conditions, know how to apply a tourniquet, operate and maintain your weapons systems, and handle inclement weather. All of this is to be mastered before bullets start flying and bombs start dropping.
You may be thinking, today Ben and Jerry’s, tomorrow Kiev. If that’s you, don’t be deterred. After all, rather than demanding someone pay more taxes to send to a deserting and dwindling army thousands of miles from home, you yourself can go and lay down all you have to ensure Zelenskyy’s Ukraine goes on to launder, I mean fight, another day. Weather in Ukraine is beautiful this time of year, with temperatures in the 30s and 40s, and damp.
If you’re righteously pissed off about the way Lisa Murkowski’s beloved Ukraine is making out these days, you can etch your name in the history books and keep the Ukrainian children from being conscripted into the ranks, which is quite confusing since President Zelenskyy said fewer than 50,000 have been killed in three years of fighting (other experts suggest more than one million, but is there really a difference between 50,000 and a million in a nation with a population smaller than California’s?).
I don’t think I need to sell you on this once in a lifetime opportunity any further. Here is your form for signing up for the defense of Ukraine. Don’t let this opportunity pass you by!
Please click the referral button above to learn about perks associated with my program.
Seth Keshel, MBA, is a former Army Captain of Military Intelligence and Afghanistan veteran. His analytical method of election forecasting and analytics is known worldwide, and he has been commended by President Donald J. Trump for his work in the field.
Seth, I’m over the age limit but I’ll do my part…by volunteering a few million illegals who have proven their willingness to go far, free of charge. Maybe the Ukrainian government is funding some local NGO’s who would help with relocation costs.
Pure gold. 😂💥 Have you considered doing stand up comedy, Captain? This Minnesotan would go see your show.