The Walls are Closing In as the Principles First Summit Convenes in Washington, D.C.

A grippingly grave preview of a conference of intellectual giants gathering in our nation's capital this weekend, which threatens to unravel all that we have worked for for the past decade.

Note: The following is a work of satire. There is no need to destroy your device, unsubscribe to Captain K’s Corner, or otherwise question the sanity of the author. In fact, the author recognizes high blood pressure and uncontrolled stress as major catalysts of premature death and occasionally aims to lighten the mood of his readership; therefore, readers are encouraged to spread Captain K’s Corner and sign up as paying members to ensure the good Captain stays afloat to continue writing such literary brilliance.

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I ran across Lt. Colonel Steve Murray’s Telegram channel this morning and saw this flyer for the upcoming Principles First event in Washington, D.C., spanning from February 21-23, 2025:

Heath Mayo, pictured in the third row of the flyer, founded the group in 2019, with the following mission statement:

Naturally, the conference is based in the heartbeat of America and the home of the working person, Washington, D.C., and is clearly aimed at convincing regular Americans from regions of the country negatively impacted by trade policy to change their viewpoints. Based on the lineup of speakers, I would expect the following speech titles and breakout sessions:

· America First? Why a Government Designed to Represent American Citizens Should Represent Citizens of Other Countries as Priority

· Why Your Sons and Daughters Should Strive for Combat Death on Foreign Soil

· Who Really Cares About America’s Ability to Sustain Her Own Manufacturing Base, Anyway?

· Let them Eat Cake: How We Can Push Legislation to Give Maryland and Virginia a Majority of Electoral Votes and Let the Rest Rot

· It’s Been a Month and Trump Hasn’t Solved All of America’s Problems: We Told You So

· Alyssa Farah and The Code of the Chameleon

· How to Conserve Your Way Into Blue Statehood by Former Georgia Lt. Governor Geoff Duncan

· The Tears of Joy I Get Watching America Come in Last Reminds Me of How Excited I Am When My Wife’s Boyfriend Comes Over by Adam Kinzinger

· How Modern Nuclear War will Revitalize the Funeral Services Industry by Ambassador John Bolton

· Neoconservatism and Ritual Family Humiliation by George Conway

· How to Sustain a Presidential Primary Campaign Polling at 1% and the Joint Food Tasting Tour with Governor Chris Christie and special guest Governor John Kasich

· You Can’t Spell Maricopa without RICO by former Recorder Stephen Richer, with special breakout session How to Subvert Elections in a County Larger than 26 States So You Get Your Way

· How to Respond When People Say “Who the Hell Are You?” by former Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson

While data on ticket sales are not available to the public, it is advised that anyone residing in or visiting the Capital region over the weekend exercise extreme caution in the event hundreds of thousands of would-be attendees show up without notice, creating a risk for pedestrians and those requiring expedient travel within the metro. Like those who tell us true socialism has never been practiced, attendees are likely to discover real conservatism has never been seen in the United States and is simply waiting for the latest wars to die down, or for more manufacturing to relocate overseas, to emerge and take us back to the glory days of the American experiment.

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Reality

Obviously, this conference will supply about as much excitement as a kick to the crotch, and even fewer legitimate solutions. Look at the lineup – blowhards, wannabes, entrenched consultants, failed chairmen, and shameless politicos masquerading as principled Americans. All were present on the political scene as:

· Americans continued to be shipped like cattle to fight in worthless conflicts that cost lives, treasure, and legitimate military readiness, while further inflaming worldwide tensions

· Industry packed up and offshored itself to nations that couldn’t drink their own water just decades ago, but now threaten America as current or future rivals

· “Conservatives” lost control of any social impact whatsoever, and came to be incapable of even keeping women from getting their asses kicked in Olympic sports

· Cheap labor for Republican special interests and Democrat ballots flooded over our borders by the tens of millions, with zero plan to control or reverse the damage

· The political bureaucracy learned how to rig elections and manipulate government to actively combat and repel a duly elected President

· Government agencies were weaponized against the Americans they are supposed to work for

· Book deals and USAID funding floated these worthless weasels and kept them employed to subvert the will of Americans who are tired of seeing the country sold to the highest bidder.

I could go on and on but must get back to real analysis and content, and think I’ve made my point here. Supply and demand is a beautiful thing in a free market, and it’s safe to say these losers and posers have had their time in the sun and as our agenda succeeds, will hopefully wind up fleeing for the European Union, which just had its clock cleaned by someone who is already shoring up his 2028 presidential nomination.

Back to work!

P.S. - Kinzinger attacked Mrs. K on X and gets no sympathy from me.

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Seth Keshel, MBA, is a former Army Captain of Military Intelligence and Afghanistan veteran. His analytical method of election forecasting and analytics is known worldwide, and he has been commended by President Donald J. Trump for his work in the field.